Post by Blazen on Mar 9, 2010 19:43:02 GMT -5
Aye, its back. I went through the chapters posted on Epsilon and did some creative changes. Overall the story is the same, with only some minor editing and tweaking, the biggest things being character changes.
I'll see how far I get this time, but this is really something that deserves another try. So I'll start on the new chapters soon, and, considering this involves most of you, any suggestions are welcome.
Enjoy!
Thump… thump… thump.
“THD!” Thump…thump… thump.
“THD!!”
“What?”
“Give it a rest, will ya?! You’ll wake everyone!”
“Sorry!”
“Jeez…” And so Blazen lied back down on his bed in his dorm. He sighed, annoyed. Of course THD or The Hell Dragon had been working out again in his apartment and was making as much noise as always. Blazen needed the extra sleep, badly. He had a test tomorrow for his college bio class. THD had the same test, but, as always, worried more about his physical strength rather than his mental.
Blazen rolled to his side, his blood red hair covering the small pillow nearly. His closed his brown eyes and tried to find some sleep. His head then lifted and moved away from the pillow, and rested his head on his arms. He sometimes preferred this.
Coming up the hall he could hear some steps heading into the apartment next door, Risk lived there. She was a smart girl and never needed to study for a test and sometimes had some wacky experiments in there. To the other side of Blazen was Dranzer’s room. He was a quiet guy, but cool still, even if he was a rather large prick at times. A troll, he liked to call himself. Fitting, Blazen concluded. Across the hall was macho boy, THD. His room could be a gym for body builders it was so full of weights and such. Next to him was Morph, the comedic and target of comedy. Of course his wit over powered this at times, but still they had fun. On the other side of THD was Ribbita, a smart but sometimes childish guy. He had a thing for Risk. The ‘Six Seniors’ they were called at times. Well all six were friends.
Blazen then reopened his eyes as a large light shot from the sky and landed on a far off mountain side. Blazen quirked a brow, now curious. The light disappeared over the top of the mountain. The ground shook violently not even a second later. He shot up and heard five doors open, the other five felt it too. Morph came into Blazen’s room.
“You feel that?” Morph asked quickly, the other four were standing around in the hall. Blazen nodded.
“It landed there, in the mountain side.” Blazen responded as he got out of bed and pointed to the far off mountain. “Let’s check it out.” He proposed. The five couldn’t agree more with him and within an hour, they were there.
“There!” Called Ribbita, he was still wearing his frog covered related pjs still. Risk then Dranzer were there next.
“Whoa…” Dranzer said quietly as he came closer to the crater. Before them were six pods. The pods were small, the group were unable to determine what they were. They were made out of medal, and seemed like giant pills of sort. Each glowed of a different color, it was like looking into a circular rainbow.
Morph came forth soon enough and found the closest pod, it saying ‘Gray’ on it. He crouched down and pulled out a medallion.
“Hmm…” He said in thought then a gray light came over him. He then reappeared in a gray tight suit. On his head a helmet with a black visor to see out of. The back of the helmet bore what seemed like a curled up squirrel tail. On his black belt was the medallion. Everyone’s jaw dropped simultaneously as Morph looked himself over. “Am…I a power ranger now or something?” He asked, still in shock.
“Gimmie one!” Ribbita then cried as he leapt at the Green one. No sooner did a green light come over him. He stood in a similar suit but green. His helmet resembled the head of a frog, the mouth being the face area.
“Well, I’ll be.” Blazen said as he grabbed the next closest, red no doubt. A red light came over him. His suit again as similar, but with a helmet resembling an alligator. THD was next, grabbing the blue, his resembling a rhinoceros. Dranzer grabbed black, his helmet resembling a troll of sorts. Risk looked to the last one…to his misfortune…pink was all that remained.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” She shouted in frustration.
“Sorry Risk, take it or leave it.” THD said laughing. Risk shot him a glare before picking up the medallion. Her suit was of course pink, but with a white skirt. Apparently it could tell between boy and girl.
"Man, this is pretty sweet." Blazen said.
The sun rose and the new powered up seniors were still playing around with their new abilities. Blazen ducked as Risk tried a kick to his head. Blazen then trust his fist forward to hit her in the stomach. Risk fell on her back. THD then gave a solid kick to Blazen’s head from behind. Dranzer followed that up with a clothesline tackle to the ground. Ribbita then pounced on Dranzer and shoved his face to the ground. Morph then simply kicked Ribbita’s side and planted a foot firmly on Ribbita’s back. It went on like this for a while, the six just beating each other up. Of course, Ribbita avoided Risk, out of pure shyness.
Blazen then dusted his red suit off and with a sigh he relaxed. As he did a red light came over him and he reverted to his original clothes. On his left wrist was a red watch with the time above it and numbers below.
“Hey! What happened to my suit?” Blazen exclaimed. Morph looked over and cocked his head to the side and approached him.
“Dun-“ At that moment Morph, to, lost his suit in a color that matched his suit. The same watch came on his hand, his being gray however. Risk was next, followed by THD, Ribbita, and Dranzer. “Seems we’ve lost the power…but gained a watch, eh?”
“Apparently,” Risk muttered as she looked over the watch, “but no more pink for me!” She then yelled in triumph.
“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be so sure.” said a robotic voice from behind a rock.
“Who’s there?” THD demanded.
“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be scared.” It said again as a little red robot came forth. It had what seemed red gloves and a red helmet and shades. It also had a yellow scarf and a blue symbol on its chest. A red line continually ran through the shades. “I am Breakman-5, and you need to come with me.” It said before turning around to a cave.
“Shall we?” Blazen asked.
“Sure.” Dranzer responded and stepped forward to head in. The group followed him in.
Inside they found a large room with several buttons and colors. Ribbita felt a certain small twinge every now and again. Something about all these bright lights, all these buttons. His finger was getting itchy. Dranzer came to a large glass thing that seemed to hold green water. He cocked his head to the side, looking at it. Then suddenly a large head appeared of a man. He had an orange beard and thick glasses. He had a welcoming smile, but that didn’t prevent Dranzer from jumping in surprise and running to hid behind a podium.
“Rangers!” The head almost roared, if it were mean looking than it would be a roar. “I am Dr. Cossack the creator of your powers.” Dr. Cossack explained.
“Then why weren’t you hear earlier when we just got them?” Ribbita asked.
“Well Breakman-5 was playing with his Lock button and didn’t realize he sent the pods three weeks early. I denied him of his Ico game for some time after that.” Dr. Cossack explained calmly.
“Lock, lock, lock! I said I was sorry, Doctor!” Breakman-5 whined.
“Yes, yes, yes, I know.” Dr. Cossack assured. “Now! Rangers! I have given you these powers to defend justice and the world. There are five other rangers out there! If you find them, recruit them to your cause!” Dr. Cossack instructed.
“How do we activate our powers?” Blazen then asked, fearless of the good doctor.
“On your watches, you must put in the code ‘1, 3, 3, 7’, then yell the object that matches your medallion. Give it a try.” Dr. Cossack instructed once more. Thus the group raised their watches to their sides and imputed 1, 3, 3, and 7.
“Gator!” Yelled Blazen.
“Squirrel!” Yelled Morph.
“Rhinoceros!” Yelled THD.
“Frog!” Yelled Ribbita.
“Troll!” Yelled Dranzer.
“Eh…what’s mine?” Risk then asked, interrupting the cool sequence.
“Lock, lock, lock. Why that be a pony.” Breakman-5 responded.
“Pony…?” Risk repeated, “What? Just because I'm a girl I get something like that?!” She yelled, but then sighed, "Oh well…Pony!"
In a blinding flash all six rangers morphed into their suits. They looked at their new suits once more and then back at Dr. Cossack.
“Now all you need is a name.” Dr. Cossack said for them to think. The members went on a frantic brainstorm to think on it, except for Risk who was still pouting about being Pink.
“This is so lame…” Risk then mumbled, but loud enough to be heard.
“That’s it!” Cheered the other members.
“We are the Lamer Rangers!” Blazen yelled in victory.
“Very well. You shall now be known as…The Lamer Rangers.” Dr. Cossack said in satisfaction.
“King me!” Ribbita yelled as he placed the king of his side of the Chess board on the other side of Morph’s. Morph stared blankly at the king, bewildered.
“Ribbita…this is chess.” Morphman tried to explain. “You are supposed to take out my king…Instead you wasted all your pieces, using them as decoys, just to get your king to my side of the playing field.” Morph continued to say. Ribbita shrugged.
“Just king me and we can start over.” Ribbita said plainly. Morph placed his Queen on the left of the king.
“Checkmate.” Morph declared blandly. “I win.” He then added. Ribbita looked back and forth between the board and Morph.
“King me.” Ribbita repeated for the third time. Morph shook his head and stood up, leaving Ribbita to stare at the board.
Dranzer and Risk were talking to the Doctor who was trying to sleep in his floating thing. However, he didn’t get a chance to tell the two Lamers that as Dranzer was too busy asking random questions about the Lamers and Risk kept whining about his pink outfit. THD and Blazen were busy annoying Breakman-5. Dranzer even went as far as spinning the robot’s head.
“Lock, lock, lock, lock!” Breakman-5 continued to yell as the world spun. Then an alarm went off and the Lamers froze.
“Lamers!” Called Cossack, “It seems your first foe is here. He is attacking the city as we speak. Now go and defeat him.”
“King me!” There was an awkward silence after the outburst by, you-know-who.
“Yeah…ok…just go and save the world.” Dr. Cossack said awkwardly. Then the Lamers were engulfed in a light representing their color, Risk could be heard screaming about the pink.
They landed in the middle of a park, people running away from the monster before them.. He was laughing evilly as people simply ran from a child it seemed.
“This is who we need to fight?” Blazen whispered to Dranzer who was next to him.
“I guess…maybe a simple noogie will take ‘em out, eh?” Dranzer said back, jokingly.
“Heh, yeah, let’s just make this quick.” Blazen then stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He called to the child who laughed still. The child turned his head was nearly shaved and he had a typical punk skull t-shirt.
“Who’re you losers?” The child asked.
“Be nice to your elders, kid. Ju- whoa!” Blazen was interrupted when a beam of some green energy past him. It hit directly on THD.
“Oh my god! It stinks so bad! My eyes, MY EYES!” THD yelled bloody murder before falling to the ground, twitching.
“God, it's like shit with a hint of orange in it!" Exclaimed Dranzer.
“I am ANDY13!” The child claimed proudly. “Now fear my breath!” He then fired another beam at Morph who shuffled to the side.
“Ok, its Lamer time guys!” Blazen yelled as they regrouped. They then held up their watches and put in the code, 1,3,3,7 then yelled their icons.
“Gator!”
“Squirrel!”
“Frog!”
“Troll!”
“Pony!”
The five remaining Lamers morphed into their suits, ready for action.
“Ok! Let’s do this!” Blazen yelled as he ran forth, the other four followed. ANDY13 continued his barrage of stench as the Lamers dodged as best as they could. Morph, in another quick attempt to avoid the beam of stink felt something poke him in his waist. Morph reached back and found a pouch. He reached in and pulled out a bunch of grey acorns. The beam came again, as Morph avoided this shot he threw the acorns desperately. Hoping to god that something good happened.
“Ow….”ANDY13 said simply, chuckling. “Was th-“ BOOM! The acorns that were at his feet then gave off one big explosion around ANDY13. Blazen blinked then reached behind him and out of seemingly now where drew a large alligator clamp. It was as large as him and just as cool. ANDY13 stood dazed as Blazen then ran at him. Blazen opened the jaws and snatched the child and began to swing him around, roaring pathetically. ANDY13 yelled as he was jerked about in the air. Ribbita then found he had a pair of super bouncing shoes. He jumped and kicked the villain in the stomach.
Seeing this, Risk and Dranzer looked around for their own weapons. Dranzer found a large club and Risk….found a purse. He opened it to find make up and pepper spray in it. She sighed and closed her purse. Dranzer laughed then rushed at the child who was on the ground. He then bludgeoned his head with the club, making the child yell in pain. He then fired a beam of stench in a circle, hitting the four Lamers around him, knocking them back. All four wailed in pain of the stench.
"Ok, I'm done screwing around." The ANDY13 then suddenly began to transform. His body bulged and expanded out. His muscles grew along with his height. His body turned grey and his head protruded out forward in a disgusting manner. His hands lost fingers, and two small holes grew in them. Spines grew along his back and a tail sprouted from his waist. Holes were in there as well. On his chest was a giant 13, seemingly written in feces. Yuck.
"Feel my stink!" ANDY13 yelled as visible green fumes of the stink rose from the many holes he had.
Risk ran up to the child and pulled out the spray and shot it at him. She laughed nervously when she noticed ANDY13 had eyes no longer. ANDY13 then opened his mouth to allow a beam of stench to hit Risk and send him into a tree.
“He’s…too powerful…” Blazen said as he picked up his clamps, and used them to keep himself up.
“We gotta keep trying.” Morph urged as he threw more acorns that exploded around ANDY13, who was again dazed. “NOW” Morph yelled as he threw more. Blazen, Risk, Dranzer, and Ribbita ran at him. Ribbita jumped up and landed on his head and that head was knocked into Dranzer’s club. Then Blazen used his clamps to hold him as Risk began to beat the creature with her purse.
ANDY13's holes then suddenly opened up and shot out large beams of stench at the Lamers. They flew into a ground and hit Morph as well. They groaned and watched as ANDY13 readied a large beam.
“This is it!” Blazen yelled in fear.
“We’re doomed!” Ribbita then yelled as well. The beam fired then….
“Rhinoceros!” They heard someone yelled then jump in front of the beam. There THD was in his blue suit and shield in front of him. On it was the face of a Rhinoceros, horn and all. The shield blocked the beam of stench, THD grunted then charged forward. ANDY13 did his best to keep him back. THD war cried as his shield grew in size.
"As God once said "Wash your feet, fucker!" THD slammed into ANDY13 who groaned, flew and then landed. ANDY13 then turned into dust and disintegrated. THD stood tall, proud of his achievement.
“THD! You saved us!” Risk yelled and shot up. The other Lamers soon stood up, shaking off the battle. They then lost their suits and watched as a screen came from their watches. A girl in white came up, who looked desperate.
“Help me Obi-Wan you’re my only hope.” She said.
“Eh…He’s not here.” Blazen said plainly.
“Oh, sorry, wrong frequency.” She disappeared and was replaced with Cossack’s head.
“Good work Lamers. Be proud as you saved the day from evil and made Earth peaceful for one day more. Now you may rest as more will come, I assure you.” Cossack warned.
“Every Saturday?” Risk guessed.
“What do you think this is? A Saturday morning cartoon? No, it’ll be everyday!” Dr. Cossack said back before disappearing.
“Great…” Blazen said to himself.
“Sir Lighter are the N00B ninjas done yet?!” roared a voice from a large yellow ship in the shape of a smiley face with devil horns and red eyes. The voice belonged to the doer of evil and killer of those to undo the evil that is done by none other than Zane. He stood tall with a silver shining helmet and skeletal like armor. On his helmet was a small Z and in his right hand a scepter with a larger Z on the top.
Growling under his breath came out a huge purple and freakish creature wearing a with purple. There stood tall was Juno, Zane's right hand man and loyal servant, even if he were a bit fussy and smart assy.
“He will not be finished today he has sa-“ Began Juno when then a slender looking man with a crown and black cape came out. He also held a scepter, but one much shorter and it having a glowing ball on the top.
“Done.” Lighter, the man who came out, said proudly. “I will send them off now.”
“Excellent!” Cried Zane proudly, “See to it that it happens.” Zane commanded sternly. Then fifteen grayish beams of light fell from the ship in space to the very city the Lamers were in, how fortunate.
Meanwhile in the city, this, by the way, was named Ymaggion, the Lamers heard the call from Dr. Cossack about the threat that hit earth merely a moment before.
“Ok, Lamers!” Yelled Blazen, “its laming time!” Blazen then finished. The Lamers then put into their watches 1,3,3,7 and they morphed after yelling their respected icon. However everyone was staring at Risk oddly after she morphed.
“. . .What?” Risk asked awkwardly.
“Something’s up with your suit.” Morph said slowly.
“What? Is the skirt gone?! I hope so, because I’ve been messing around with the watch to see if I could make it better for myself.” Risk then explained excitedly before looking down and hearing everyone snicker. "I…I…" Risk stuttered as she looked at the new addition to her suit, "Think I messed up." The suit itself was fine, just now over the suit, was her underwear. Risk quickly tore it off as everyone laughed. Everyone but Ribbita, instead he looked on with a face redder than Blazen's suit. Thankfully his helmet was on.
“O-ok…guys.” THD said after recollecting himself, “to the battle.” He said then running forward to the general area of the said threat, or unsaid. Everyone followed promptly.
When they got there a gray body flew at them and landed before twitching and dying. Two more flew at their feet, again, twitching and dying. The Lamers looked forward to see two more people with similar suits as them. One was a bright white with golden armor on the shoulders and the other was mostly black with golden lines on the helmet in the shape of a dragon and golden armor on the shoulders, arms, and legs. They both took out the gray simple looking ninjas who merely gave out letters such as ‘lol’, ‘brb’, ‘omg’ and ‘stfu’. However when slain the ninjas would yell ‘hacks’ loudly before disappearing in a gray light.
The Lamers watched as the two new rangers, simply put, pwned the ninjas. Soon enough the ninjas were all gone with the last, fearing for his life, yelled ‘g2g’ and left in a grey light.
“Holy shit you fucking suck, you fag.” said a voice in the direction of the white ranger.
“RD, its talking again.”
“Damn straight I'm talking you homo. I pounded your mom last night, and boy did sh-“ The first voice was cut off when the white ranger put his mouth over the head on the hilt of his sword.
“X-Saber…shut up. I never should've turned you live.” The ranger repeated. The Gold one was watching then shook his head. He then turned to see the six Lamers staring at them.
“Fallen.” The Gold one said tapping the white’s shoulder. The White one looked over.
“Hey, they got suits like us.” The white one, whispered to the Golden.
“Aye, but who are they?” The Golden, obviously more serious one, asked.
“Ask.” Fallen commanded.
“Fine.” The Golden said a bit reluctantly. “Hey, who are you guys...” He asked.
“Eh…” Blazen stepped forward, “We’re the Lamer Rangers. Dr. Cossack said there more, so you guys must be two of them.”
“Dr. Cossack?” Fallen questioned, putting his smart ass sword in its sheath, a piece of cloth in its mouth.
“The guy who sent the watches here that make you into the rangers you are.” Dranzer then added. RD nodded.
“Ok…take us to him.” RD said boldly. Blazen nodded.
“You got it.” Then instantly all eight were taken to Dr. Cossack’s lab. RD and Fallen looked around their new surrounding as Morph walked to the giant jar where Dr. Cossack’s head would be.
“Hey Doc, take a look at this!” He yelled and Cossack’s head came up just as fast.
“OH MY GOD! A FLOATING HEAD!” Yelled Ribbita randomly. Again…he created an awkward silence. Then one could vaguely hear Saba yell ‘Holy shit!’ which was muffled through the cloth.
“Yeah…Ribbita…go color or something.” Dr. Cossack said and a table came up in a corner with crayons on it.
“Whee!” Ribbita yelled running to color.
“Anyway,” Cossack began as he examined the two new rangers, “Lamers, you’ve found the Golden and White rangers. Well done, two new comrades for our cause.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's your deal?” RD asked, taking no chances.
“To defeat evil that appears in the very town where you live, of course.” Cossack explained.
“Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon to me.” RD replied.
“Are you all going to say that?! It’s everyday!” Cossack roared.
“Er…right…” RD mumbled. Then suddenly Ribbita came out of nowhere, jumping wildly with his bouncing shoes.
“Ribbita! I gave you those crayons so you could calm down, what happened?” Cossack asked as he continued to jump around wildly knocking people over.
“I got high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He replied landing on RD’s head knocking him down.
“What?” Cossack asked, then the box came up in front of him. He read it aloud: “Crayons, now with heroin. "OH WHAT THE FUCK?!” Cossack roared again. “Catch him!” He commanded and RD stood up.
RD shook his head before pulling out a sword. He turned it to its side and watched Ribbita. He then swung it, seemingly randomly, but ended up hitting Ribbita in the back of the head as he appeared from nearly out of nowhere. Ribbita hit the ground with a thud and a groan, blacking out.
“There…now explain to me what I’m doing here…” RD said sternly to Cossack.
I'll see how far I get this time, but this is really something that deserves another try. So I'll start on the new chapters soon, and, considering this involves most of you, any suggestions are welcome.
Enjoy!
Chapter 1
A Strange Light
A Strange Light
Thump… thump… thump.
“THD!” Thump…thump… thump.
“THD!!”
“What?”
“Give it a rest, will ya?! You’ll wake everyone!”
“Sorry!”
“Jeez…” And so Blazen lied back down on his bed in his dorm. He sighed, annoyed. Of course THD or The Hell Dragon had been working out again in his apartment and was making as much noise as always. Blazen needed the extra sleep, badly. He had a test tomorrow for his college bio class. THD had the same test, but, as always, worried more about his physical strength rather than his mental.
Blazen rolled to his side, his blood red hair covering the small pillow nearly. His closed his brown eyes and tried to find some sleep. His head then lifted and moved away from the pillow, and rested his head on his arms. He sometimes preferred this.
Coming up the hall he could hear some steps heading into the apartment next door, Risk lived there. She was a smart girl and never needed to study for a test and sometimes had some wacky experiments in there. To the other side of Blazen was Dranzer’s room. He was a quiet guy, but cool still, even if he was a rather large prick at times. A troll, he liked to call himself. Fitting, Blazen concluded. Across the hall was macho boy, THD. His room could be a gym for body builders it was so full of weights and such. Next to him was Morph, the comedic and target of comedy. Of course his wit over powered this at times, but still they had fun. On the other side of THD was Ribbita, a smart but sometimes childish guy. He had a thing for Risk. The ‘Six Seniors’ they were called at times. Well all six were friends.
Blazen then reopened his eyes as a large light shot from the sky and landed on a far off mountain side. Blazen quirked a brow, now curious. The light disappeared over the top of the mountain. The ground shook violently not even a second later. He shot up and heard five doors open, the other five felt it too. Morph came into Blazen’s room.
“You feel that?” Morph asked quickly, the other four were standing around in the hall. Blazen nodded.
“It landed there, in the mountain side.” Blazen responded as he got out of bed and pointed to the far off mountain. “Let’s check it out.” He proposed. The five couldn’t agree more with him and within an hour, they were there.
“There!” Called Ribbita, he was still wearing his frog covered related pjs still. Risk then Dranzer were there next.
“Whoa…” Dranzer said quietly as he came closer to the crater. Before them were six pods. The pods were small, the group were unable to determine what they were. They were made out of medal, and seemed like giant pills of sort. Each glowed of a different color, it was like looking into a circular rainbow.
Morph came forth soon enough and found the closest pod, it saying ‘Gray’ on it. He crouched down and pulled out a medallion.
“Hmm…” He said in thought then a gray light came over him. He then reappeared in a gray tight suit. On his head a helmet with a black visor to see out of. The back of the helmet bore what seemed like a curled up squirrel tail. On his black belt was the medallion. Everyone’s jaw dropped simultaneously as Morph looked himself over. “Am…I a power ranger now or something?” He asked, still in shock.
“Gimmie one!” Ribbita then cried as he leapt at the Green one. No sooner did a green light come over him. He stood in a similar suit but green. His helmet resembled the head of a frog, the mouth being the face area.
“Well, I’ll be.” Blazen said as he grabbed the next closest, red no doubt. A red light came over him. His suit again as similar, but with a helmet resembling an alligator. THD was next, grabbing the blue, his resembling a rhinoceros. Dranzer grabbed black, his helmet resembling a troll of sorts. Risk looked to the last one…to his misfortune…pink was all that remained.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” She shouted in frustration.
“Sorry Risk, take it or leave it.” THD said laughing. Risk shot him a glare before picking up the medallion. Her suit was of course pink, but with a white skirt. Apparently it could tell between boy and girl.
"Man, this is pretty sweet." Blazen said.
Chapter 2
We are the Lamers!
We are the Lamers!
The sun rose and the new powered up seniors were still playing around with their new abilities. Blazen ducked as Risk tried a kick to his head. Blazen then trust his fist forward to hit her in the stomach. Risk fell on her back. THD then gave a solid kick to Blazen’s head from behind. Dranzer followed that up with a clothesline tackle to the ground. Ribbita then pounced on Dranzer and shoved his face to the ground. Morph then simply kicked Ribbita’s side and planted a foot firmly on Ribbita’s back. It went on like this for a while, the six just beating each other up. Of course, Ribbita avoided Risk, out of pure shyness.
Blazen then dusted his red suit off and with a sigh he relaxed. As he did a red light came over him and he reverted to his original clothes. On his left wrist was a red watch with the time above it and numbers below.
“Hey! What happened to my suit?” Blazen exclaimed. Morph looked over and cocked his head to the side and approached him.
“Dun-“ At that moment Morph, to, lost his suit in a color that matched his suit. The same watch came on his hand, his being gray however. Risk was next, followed by THD, Ribbita, and Dranzer. “Seems we’ve lost the power…but gained a watch, eh?”
“Apparently,” Risk muttered as she looked over the watch, “but no more pink for me!” She then yelled in triumph.
“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be so sure.” said a robotic voice from behind a rock.
“Who’s there?” THD demanded.
“Lock, lock, lock. Don’t be scared.” It said again as a little red robot came forth. It had what seemed red gloves and a red helmet and shades. It also had a yellow scarf and a blue symbol on its chest. A red line continually ran through the shades. “I am Breakman-5, and you need to come with me.” It said before turning around to a cave.
“Shall we?” Blazen asked.
“Sure.” Dranzer responded and stepped forward to head in. The group followed him in.
Inside they found a large room with several buttons and colors. Ribbita felt a certain small twinge every now and again. Something about all these bright lights, all these buttons. His finger was getting itchy. Dranzer came to a large glass thing that seemed to hold green water. He cocked his head to the side, looking at it. Then suddenly a large head appeared of a man. He had an orange beard and thick glasses. He had a welcoming smile, but that didn’t prevent Dranzer from jumping in surprise and running to hid behind a podium.
“Rangers!” The head almost roared, if it were mean looking than it would be a roar. “I am Dr. Cossack the creator of your powers.” Dr. Cossack explained.
“Then why weren’t you hear earlier when we just got them?” Ribbita asked.
“Well Breakman-5 was playing with his Lock button and didn’t realize he sent the pods three weeks early. I denied him of his Ico game for some time after that.” Dr. Cossack explained calmly.
“Lock, lock, lock! I said I was sorry, Doctor!” Breakman-5 whined.
“Yes, yes, yes, I know.” Dr. Cossack assured. “Now! Rangers! I have given you these powers to defend justice and the world. There are five other rangers out there! If you find them, recruit them to your cause!” Dr. Cossack instructed.
“How do we activate our powers?” Blazen then asked, fearless of the good doctor.
“On your watches, you must put in the code ‘1, 3, 3, 7’, then yell the object that matches your medallion. Give it a try.” Dr. Cossack instructed once more. Thus the group raised their watches to their sides and imputed 1, 3, 3, and 7.
“Gator!” Yelled Blazen.
“Squirrel!” Yelled Morph.
“Rhinoceros!” Yelled THD.
“Frog!” Yelled Ribbita.
“Troll!” Yelled Dranzer.
“Eh…what’s mine?” Risk then asked, interrupting the cool sequence.
“Lock, lock, lock. Why that be a pony.” Breakman-5 responded.
“Pony…?” Risk repeated, “What? Just because I'm a girl I get something like that?!” She yelled, but then sighed, "Oh well…Pony!"
In a blinding flash all six rangers morphed into their suits. They looked at their new suits once more and then back at Dr. Cossack.
“Now all you need is a name.” Dr. Cossack said for them to think. The members went on a frantic brainstorm to think on it, except for Risk who was still pouting about being Pink.
“This is so lame…” Risk then mumbled, but loud enough to be heard.
“That’s it!” Cheered the other members.
“We are the Lamer Rangers!” Blazen yelled in victory.
“Very well. You shall now be known as…The Lamer Rangers.” Dr. Cossack said in satisfaction.
Chapter 3
The First Bout
The First Bout
“King me!” Ribbita yelled as he placed the king of his side of the Chess board on the other side of Morph’s. Morph stared blankly at the king, bewildered.
“Ribbita…this is chess.” Morphman tried to explain. “You are supposed to take out my king…Instead you wasted all your pieces, using them as decoys, just to get your king to my side of the playing field.” Morph continued to say. Ribbita shrugged.
“Just king me and we can start over.” Ribbita said plainly. Morph placed his Queen on the left of the king.
“Checkmate.” Morph declared blandly. “I win.” He then added. Ribbita looked back and forth between the board and Morph.
“King me.” Ribbita repeated for the third time. Morph shook his head and stood up, leaving Ribbita to stare at the board.
Dranzer and Risk were talking to the Doctor who was trying to sleep in his floating thing. However, he didn’t get a chance to tell the two Lamers that as Dranzer was too busy asking random questions about the Lamers and Risk kept whining about his pink outfit. THD and Blazen were busy annoying Breakman-5. Dranzer even went as far as spinning the robot’s head.
“Lock, lock, lock, lock!” Breakman-5 continued to yell as the world spun. Then an alarm went off and the Lamers froze.
“Lamers!” Called Cossack, “It seems your first foe is here. He is attacking the city as we speak. Now go and defeat him.”
“King me!” There was an awkward silence after the outburst by, you-know-who.
“Yeah…ok…just go and save the world.” Dr. Cossack said awkwardly. Then the Lamers were engulfed in a light representing their color, Risk could be heard screaming about the pink.
They landed in the middle of a park, people running away from the monster before them.. He was laughing evilly as people simply ran from a child it seemed.
“This is who we need to fight?” Blazen whispered to Dranzer who was next to him.
“I guess…maybe a simple noogie will take ‘em out, eh?” Dranzer said back, jokingly.
“Heh, yeah, let’s just make this quick.” Blazen then stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He called to the child who laughed still. The child turned his head was nearly shaved and he had a typical punk skull t-shirt.
“Who’re you losers?” The child asked.
“Be nice to your elders, kid. Ju- whoa!” Blazen was interrupted when a beam of some green energy past him. It hit directly on THD.
“Oh my god! It stinks so bad! My eyes, MY EYES!” THD yelled bloody murder before falling to the ground, twitching.
“God, it's like shit with a hint of orange in it!" Exclaimed Dranzer.
“I am ANDY13!” The child claimed proudly. “Now fear my breath!” He then fired another beam at Morph who shuffled to the side.
“Ok, its Lamer time guys!” Blazen yelled as they regrouped. They then held up their watches and put in the code, 1,3,3,7 then yelled their icons.
“Gator!”
“Squirrel!”
“Frog!”
“Troll!”
“Pony!”
The five remaining Lamers morphed into their suits, ready for action.
“Ok! Let’s do this!” Blazen yelled as he ran forth, the other four followed. ANDY13 continued his barrage of stench as the Lamers dodged as best as they could. Morph, in another quick attempt to avoid the beam of stink felt something poke him in his waist. Morph reached back and found a pouch. He reached in and pulled out a bunch of grey acorns. The beam came again, as Morph avoided this shot he threw the acorns desperately. Hoping to god that something good happened.
“Ow….”ANDY13 said simply, chuckling. “Was th-“ BOOM! The acorns that were at his feet then gave off one big explosion around ANDY13. Blazen blinked then reached behind him and out of seemingly now where drew a large alligator clamp. It was as large as him and just as cool. ANDY13 stood dazed as Blazen then ran at him. Blazen opened the jaws and snatched the child and began to swing him around, roaring pathetically. ANDY13 yelled as he was jerked about in the air. Ribbita then found he had a pair of super bouncing shoes. He jumped and kicked the villain in the stomach.
Seeing this, Risk and Dranzer looked around for their own weapons. Dranzer found a large club and Risk….found a purse. He opened it to find make up and pepper spray in it. She sighed and closed her purse. Dranzer laughed then rushed at the child who was on the ground. He then bludgeoned his head with the club, making the child yell in pain. He then fired a beam of stench in a circle, hitting the four Lamers around him, knocking them back. All four wailed in pain of the stench.
"Ok, I'm done screwing around." The ANDY13 then suddenly began to transform. His body bulged and expanded out. His muscles grew along with his height. His body turned grey and his head protruded out forward in a disgusting manner. His hands lost fingers, and two small holes grew in them. Spines grew along his back and a tail sprouted from his waist. Holes were in there as well. On his chest was a giant 13, seemingly written in feces. Yuck.
"Feel my stink!" ANDY13 yelled as visible green fumes of the stink rose from the many holes he had.
Risk ran up to the child and pulled out the spray and shot it at him. She laughed nervously when she noticed ANDY13 had eyes no longer. ANDY13 then opened his mouth to allow a beam of stench to hit Risk and send him into a tree.
“He’s…too powerful…” Blazen said as he picked up his clamps, and used them to keep himself up.
“We gotta keep trying.” Morph urged as he threw more acorns that exploded around ANDY13, who was again dazed. “NOW” Morph yelled as he threw more. Blazen, Risk, Dranzer, and Ribbita ran at him. Ribbita jumped up and landed on his head and that head was knocked into Dranzer’s club. Then Blazen used his clamps to hold him as Risk began to beat the creature with her purse.
ANDY13's holes then suddenly opened up and shot out large beams of stench at the Lamers. They flew into a ground and hit Morph as well. They groaned and watched as ANDY13 readied a large beam.
“This is it!” Blazen yelled in fear.
“We’re doomed!” Ribbita then yelled as well. The beam fired then….
“Rhinoceros!” They heard someone yelled then jump in front of the beam. There THD was in his blue suit and shield in front of him. On it was the face of a Rhinoceros, horn and all. The shield blocked the beam of stench, THD grunted then charged forward. ANDY13 did his best to keep him back. THD war cried as his shield grew in size.
"As God once said "Wash your feet, fucker!" THD slammed into ANDY13 who groaned, flew and then landed. ANDY13 then turned into dust and disintegrated. THD stood tall, proud of his achievement.
“THD! You saved us!” Risk yelled and shot up. The other Lamers soon stood up, shaking off the battle. They then lost their suits and watched as a screen came from their watches. A girl in white came up, who looked desperate.
“Help me Obi-Wan you’re my only hope.” She said.
“Eh…He’s not here.” Blazen said plainly.
“Oh, sorry, wrong frequency.” She disappeared and was replaced with Cossack’s head.
“Good work Lamers. Be proud as you saved the day from evil and made Earth peaceful for one day more. Now you may rest as more will come, I assure you.” Cossack warned.
“Every Saturday?” Risk guessed.
“What do you think this is? A Saturday morning cartoon? No, it’ll be everyday!” Dr. Cossack said back before disappearing.
“Great…” Blazen said to himself.
Chapter 4
Two for Flinching
Two for Flinching
“Sir Lighter are the N00B ninjas done yet?!” roared a voice from a large yellow ship in the shape of a smiley face with devil horns and red eyes. The voice belonged to the doer of evil and killer of those to undo the evil that is done by none other than Zane. He stood tall with a silver shining helmet and skeletal like armor. On his helmet was a small Z and in his right hand a scepter with a larger Z on the top.
Growling under his breath came out a huge purple and freakish creature wearing a with purple. There stood tall was Juno, Zane's right hand man and loyal servant, even if he were a bit fussy and smart assy.
“He will not be finished today he has sa-“ Began Juno when then a slender looking man with a crown and black cape came out. He also held a scepter, but one much shorter and it having a glowing ball on the top.
“Done.” Lighter, the man who came out, said proudly. “I will send them off now.”
“Excellent!” Cried Zane proudly, “See to it that it happens.” Zane commanded sternly. Then fifteen grayish beams of light fell from the ship in space to the very city the Lamers were in, how fortunate.
Meanwhile in the city, this, by the way, was named Ymaggion, the Lamers heard the call from Dr. Cossack about the threat that hit earth merely a moment before.
“Ok, Lamers!” Yelled Blazen, “its laming time!” Blazen then finished. The Lamers then put into their watches 1,3,3,7 and they morphed after yelling their respected icon. However everyone was staring at Risk oddly after she morphed.
“. . .What?” Risk asked awkwardly.
“Something’s up with your suit.” Morph said slowly.
“What? Is the skirt gone?! I hope so, because I’ve been messing around with the watch to see if I could make it better for myself.” Risk then explained excitedly before looking down and hearing everyone snicker. "I…I…" Risk stuttered as she looked at the new addition to her suit, "Think I messed up." The suit itself was fine, just now over the suit, was her underwear. Risk quickly tore it off as everyone laughed. Everyone but Ribbita, instead he looked on with a face redder than Blazen's suit. Thankfully his helmet was on.
“O-ok…guys.” THD said after recollecting himself, “to the battle.” He said then running forward to the general area of the said threat, or unsaid. Everyone followed promptly.
When they got there a gray body flew at them and landed before twitching and dying. Two more flew at their feet, again, twitching and dying. The Lamers looked forward to see two more people with similar suits as them. One was a bright white with golden armor on the shoulders and the other was mostly black with golden lines on the helmet in the shape of a dragon and golden armor on the shoulders, arms, and legs. They both took out the gray simple looking ninjas who merely gave out letters such as ‘lol’, ‘brb’, ‘omg’ and ‘stfu’. However when slain the ninjas would yell ‘hacks’ loudly before disappearing in a gray light.
The Lamers watched as the two new rangers, simply put, pwned the ninjas. Soon enough the ninjas were all gone with the last, fearing for his life, yelled ‘g2g’ and left in a grey light.
“Holy shit you fucking suck, you fag.” said a voice in the direction of the white ranger.
“RD, its talking again.”
“Damn straight I'm talking you homo. I pounded your mom last night, and boy did sh-“ The first voice was cut off when the white ranger put his mouth over the head on the hilt of his sword.
“X-Saber…shut up. I never should've turned you live.” The ranger repeated. The Gold one was watching then shook his head. He then turned to see the six Lamers staring at them.
“Fallen.” The Gold one said tapping the white’s shoulder. The White one looked over.
“Hey, they got suits like us.” The white one, whispered to the Golden.
“Aye, but who are they?” The Golden, obviously more serious one, asked.
“Ask.” Fallen commanded.
“Fine.” The Golden said a bit reluctantly. “Hey, who are you guys...” He asked.
“Eh…” Blazen stepped forward, “We’re the Lamer Rangers. Dr. Cossack said there more, so you guys must be two of them.”
“Dr. Cossack?” Fallen questioned, putting his smart ass sword in its sheath, a piece of cloth in its mouth.
“The guy who sent the watches here that make you into the rangers you are.” Dranzer then added. RD nodded.
“Ok…take us to him.” RD said boldly. Blazen nodded.
“You got it.” Then instantly all eight were taken to Dr. Cossack’s lab. RD and Fallen looked around their new surrounding as Morph walked to the giant jar where Dr. Cossack’s head would be.
“Hey Doc, take a look at this!” He yelled and Cossack’s head came up just as fast.
“OH MY GOD! A FLOATING HEAD!” Yelled Ribbita randomly. Again…he created an awkward silence. Then one could vaguely hear Saba yell ‘Holy shit!’ which was muffled through the cloth.
“Yeah…Ribbita…go color or something.” Dr. Cossack said and a table came up in a corner with crayons on it.
“Whee!” Ribbita yelled running to color.
“Anyway,” Cossack began as he examined the two new rangers, “Lamers, you’ve found the Golden and White rangers. Well done, two new comrades for our cause.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's your deal?” RD asked, taking no chances.
“To defeat evil that appears in the very town where you live, of course.” Cossack explained.
“Sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon to me.” RD replied.
“Are you all going to say that?! It’s everyday!” Cossack roared.
“Er…right…” RD mumbled. Then suddenly Ribbita came out of nowhere, jumping wildly with his bouncing shoes.
“Ribbita! I gave you those crayons so you could calm down, what happened?” Cossack asked as he continued to jump around wildly knocking people over.
“I got high!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He replied landing on RD’s head knocking him down.
“What?” Cossack asked, then the box came up in front of him. He read it aloud: “Crayons, now with heroin. "OH WHAT THE FUCK?!” Cossack roared again. “Catch him!” He commanded and RD stood up.
RD shook his head before pulling out a sword. He turned it to its side and watched Ribbita. He then swung it, seemingly randomly, but ended up hitting Ribbita in the back of the head as he appeared from nearly out of nowhere. Ribbita hit the ground with a thud and a groan, blacking out.
“There…now explain to me what I’m doing here…” RD said sternly to Cossack.